Goodnight, Goodnight Doubt

I look at you and you look at me

There’s an ocean in your eyes

An endless garden in mine

Affection tickles our skin like the cool breeze of the ocean

Making me shiver and your breathing hitch

Together our eyes travel over our faces

Taking in each curve, each beautiful imperfection

Searching, searching

Searching for certainty

Hoping, Praying, Wishing that maybe just maybe,

The doubt will be swallowed up by the dirt

Like water to a thirsty rose

Sinking in to the earth never to be seen again

Replaced by love, only love

But wait…

The ground is unyielding

Who, then, will take the doubt?

Only you whispers the stillness

You welcomed it in

You sat it down, fluffed its pillows and told him to stay as long as he needed

And stay he did

Settling into the very marrow of your bones, your soul, your heart

Darkness, Resentment and Hate became your friends

Love doesn’t give up that easy though

She comes to your door every night

Her light peeking through the cracks in the door frame

Whispering the same message

Will you let me in today?

She waits, she longs

Arms outstretched she hopes

One day to wrap her arms around you again

Taking her rightful place in your heart

Fueling you with joy, compassion and forgiveness

Aching for you to say

Goodnight, goodnight doubt - its time for you to go

Lately, the best feeling in the world for me is sitting in nature with a blank page in my notebook, a pocket full of colorful pens and a big cup of coffee. I wrote this poem sitting at a local cafe in town and it was like my hands and mind were one and the words just came. I love expressing myself through words - they are my art. I truly believe one of my God-given gifts is to write. Therefore I plan to never stop writing. I am saying this here on a public platform, because it will be a reminder to me when I don't feel like myself, or when times are dark or heavy, all I need to do is pick up a pen, a blank sheet of paper and start writing. When I write, I feel like my head is on fire. Especially when I write about love. It's the best.

I wrote this poem when the feelings bubbling up inside me became too much. I have learned over time that reacting to your feelings is the easiest way to hurt people. When you react, you are no longer listening, you are just defending, and nobody really wins. What's worse, if you do win, you don't feel like a winner. So instead I write. I write what I cannot articulate with my voice and most of the time, before I write something I might regret, I rehash it in my mind until it comes out the kindest and most honest way possible. After all, being honest doesn't mean you have to be mean about it. I love a good wake up call using kid gloves.

Wishing you a beautiful day, today and always.

XO

Clarissa