Unforgettable

The title of this week's blog is Unforgettable for a couple of different reasons. Before I get into them, I want to give you a backstory from which this idea came from. So this week I was working on a list of reasons why I'm amazing. I literally wrote until my hand hurt, I'm surprised I didn't run out of pages. But before you think me shallow, hear me out. My latest obsession, which for those of you who haven't picked up on this, already, I can be an obsessive person, is the podcast Girls Gotta Eat. It is so hilarious and relatable I recommend it to any of my girlfriends and even guys who aren't afraid of hearing some harsh truths. So in an old episode I heard called, How to get over a break up (Like right now), my third or fourth podcast that day mind you, one of the co-hosts brought up this idea of making a list of all the shit your Ex put you through, it's basically a scathing, gas-lighting review of all the the reasons you need to stay away from this person. I think doing this is not only part of healing, it's also a way for you to express all the anger, hurt, frustrations and unexplainable emotions going through you. Once you're done with your list, stick it somewhere that is prominent for you so that the next time you are feeling lonely, nostalgic or just plain low, you read the list to remember why this person is no longer in your life. This brings me to the list of how amazing you are. If writing down all the bad things that went on in a relationship is therapeutic, a level up is taking the time to write a list of how awesome and sexy and funny you are and compare the lists! You will likely realize (hopefully) as I did, that you weren't being loved in the way you deserved. I even found myself wondering, How could I go back to that? How can I even make going back an option right now?

Then, when you get to a point where you don't think back on your past with sadness, but with an attitude of, "Thank God that chapter is now closed," burn the list pertaining to your Ex. If you're like me, and there's no closure, this is a way of staying goodbye to something you don't want to carry anymore. Keep in mind nobody should ready that list. I believe what happens between two people in a a relationship should stay between those two people even after the relationship is over. This is not to say you should stay quiet about abuse - verbal or physical, feelings of loneliness or despair in a relationship, all I am saying is this life has many twists and turns and if you ever see this person again or get back together, there's no way your family and friends would respect the person the same after getting a whiff of their dirty laundry. Doing this roasting list is an exercise for your own personal well being and your mental health because you'll get a chance to let go of all the toxicity of that relationship, forgive that person and yourself for what went down between the two of you and give you a clean slate to move forward when you are ready.

I'm a huge believer in seeking healing after something traumatic happens to you because when you don't clear up the mud from past relationships and instead numb and numb and numb, you're going to end up vomiting all your crap on the next person and you start the cycle all over again. Don't let someone control your life when they're not even a part of your life anymore. In Karate Kid, Part II, among all the wisdom dished out by Mr. Miyagi, one that stuck out to me was this:

Mr. Miyagi: "...for (the) man with no forgiveness in (his/her) heart, life (is a) worse punishment than death"

At the end of the day, wouldn't you want to be the unforgettable partner instead of the person who can't forget?

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